For some, having to manage anger is not an issue at all. But for others, a sharp and quick temper can mean the difference between a pleasant
day and a day behind bars. While the different reasons someone might have to working on their anger management can vary, there is no doubt that the need is very
real for many people. But rest assured that there are ways to handle anger that don't require drugs or any other unflattering form of treatment.
Understanding
Anger Management
According to studies, one in five Americans has anger management issues. And while being angry is a very natural emotion, the inability
to manage the emotion is what causes problems and can require attention - especially when the emotion escalates to rage. This is because the body is also affected
by the extreme level of emotion. For example, when you become enraged by a workplace event to the point of becoming angry, your blood pressure may rise, your
heart rate may increase, and your adrenaline can kick into high gear.
There are many things that can trigger mismanagement of anger, including a difficult
supervisor, a traffic jam, your child leaving a toy on the steps, or even a delayed sporting event. Anything can trigger the emotion, but what is worse is the reaction to
the trigger. A person who becomes enraged can react to their emotion in a variety of negative ways, including road rage, domestic abuse, violence in the workplace,
and even alcohol and drug addiction.
Many people who are in need of anger management are not completely aware of their feelings. Some may fully react to
a situation that is disturbing to them, while others may suppress their feelings for the time-being, only to allow a multitude of frustrations to build up and later convey
them in the ultimate expression of rage.
While being in close proximity to an enraged person, or being that enraged person, can be extremely frightening and
intimidating, it is important to know that the rage can be managed if steps are taken to do so in a timely fashion. The goal of learning to correctly get a grip on your
frustrations is to help you reduce your emotional feelings and come to terms with the environmental triggers that cause the anger to arise. Instead of becoming
constantly enraged by your environment, you learn to relinquish some of that need for control by realizing that you sometimes cannot change your situation, and
definitely cannot change the people around you, so the best thing you can do is control your reaction to situations you don't like.
Symptoms of the Need for
Anger Management
The two symptoms related to the need to get a grip on feelings of anger include the passive and aggressive forms of expression. The
passive form of expression showcases itself in a variety of ways, including:
Manipulation - You feel the need to provoke people into their own negative
feelings as a way to pick a fight and consequently validate your own negative feelings. This can show itself in forms of blackmail, faking illnesses, faking tears,
sabotaging relationships and even the use of guilt for sex.
A Lack of Passion - This form of passive expression is used to confuse and frustrate those around
you through the refusal to show emotion or concern when it is clearly appropriate, giving a cold shoulder or obviously phony smiles, and not responding to someone's
anger, in addition to abusing substances, overeating and simply ignoring those around you blatantly.
Secretive Behavior - This can be expressed through the
silent treatment or muttering under your breath, putting people down while smiling in their face, avoiding eye contact, and sometimes even stealing or making
anonymous, yet hurtful, complaints.
The more aggressive expression can show itself in more obvious ways, including:
Being Destructive - A
destructive expression of anger can show itself through destroying objects, harming people and animals, resorting to drugs and alcohol, and even reckless
driving.
Making Threats - This is probably one of the more obvious forms of aggressive expression as it results in successfully frightening people into
submission by expressing the ability to harm them, shaking your fist, slamming doors, and even flashing weapons.
Unpredictability - This may be the most
frightening of the forms of aggressive expression because those around you suffer from an ongoing fear of the unknown. If you erupt into a rage over small debates,
attack without being provoked, distribute punishments without reason, or cause harm to others just for fun, you can be displaying aggressive
expression.
Making Anger Management Work for You
Depending on the level of rage you're dealing with, as well as your particular method for
expressing it, you may find different routes work best for you in anger management. Some people use both conscious and unconscious methods to manage their
feelings, but the main three ways to manage anger are by using techniques called expressing, suppressing, and calming. To express your feelings is to use your
assertiveness to get them out, but never by use of aggression. Learning suppression is learning to move your feelings to a part of you that allows life to be what it is -
you cannot control everything and in suppressing your feelings after expressing them, you learn you don't have to address your feelings in a negative fashion.
Calming, is of course learning to use new ways to express you in a peaceful and serene fashion.
Other forms of anger management include learning to be
direct with those you have issues with, staying focused on the topic you have an issue with instead of redirecting the topic to something that can be used for
manipulation, having the courage to be honest about your true feelings no matter how weak you think they might make you look, and truly listening to others on the
other end of your conversation.
Anger management is a great way to control negative expression and is helpful in repairing not only once blistered
relationships, but also your own blistered soul. Once you learn the ways anger management can be beneficial to you, you will be on the right track toward a peaceful
and serene life.